Tuesday, March 31, 2009



The best word to describe my blogging habits lately!! I promise I will be working on it but I have been working on my house instead! So as soon as I get my house back into shape and at a maintainable level I will have a little more time on my hands to do things such as blog and peruse the Internet for fabulous items! But for now I will be keeping my postings to a bare minimum so that those who know and love me and my family will know that we are OK and still alive! These postings will probably be coming with an accompanyment of a Tuesday @ the table and/ or my photography entries!
So other than us being alive their has been nothing fabulous or interesting to report this week! Ernie is doing well in MS and learning lots of fun new things! Cami has been a great big pill of a three year old this past week! Everything she has done has been whiney, disruptive, and destructive!! Needless to say she has spent a lot of time in her room and has had her butt popped a few times these past few weeks! I am at a loss for what to do with her anymore! She is stressing me out! And try as I may I can't seem to bring myself to take her out to do fun things if she can not behave at home!
Addisyn on the other hand is doing very well so far i can not beleive she is turning 6 months old already! She has started eatin baby food and cereal. Her diet now consists of ...
Boob Juice (lol)
rice cereal
Oatmeal cereal
Green beans
Sweet potatoes
And we are going to keep gradually adding to it! She loves her food no matter what it is! I am just hoping that when we go into her 6month Well check she has gained a little bit of weight because that was a concern at our last appt! I myself am not overly concerned with it because at this point with Cami weight gain was very little! Her growth didn't kick it up till after she hit a year old! So we will see how things go!!
I am doing ok! I developed a Stye under my left eyelid at the beginning of the week so I have had a swollen eye all week! And it is finally going away! As far as how I am feeling it is a little bit better I have gotten out of the house a couple of times with the children and then I have been able to escape for shorter amounts of time with out them! I will survive this is all I keep telling myself! I know I can it is just a matter of finding my groove! Once I find that I think I will be ok! Any advice on how to find it? Ugh I hate to keep asking that question I just am having trouble this time! Though I was thinking about it and maybe I am having trouble finding it because I know the rollercoaster will just be starting all over again when he leaves after his I-stop! Thanks everyone for listening and being there for me! It really means a lot to me!!
( This is a post that I have been working on for a week and thought I posted LOL! So expect another one soon LOL)

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Another week down

Things are OK on the home front here just seeming a little tedious! I feel like everything is piled against the door and I can't push through! Nothing is really wrong, matter of fact minus the housework that I can't seem to get the energy to get behind and get done, everything is going great! I just can't seem to shake that feeling that my world is about to collapse around me! I know part of it is a depression trying to settle in and i am fighting it hard! The thing is I have a history of depression and am not proud to say that at 14 I hit an all time low! I tried to kill myself! Since then I have been on many different medications and only a couple of them have worked! Unfortunately when treating "mental" issues it is a trial and error when it comes to finding the right medication (or a combination of!) Well before I found out I was pregnant with Cami we had finally found the perfect combination to keep my issues in check and unfortunately it was not safe to continue taking while i was pregnant and nursing! Needless to say I did not go back on the medications after Cami's first year (we were trying for Addisyn) and have not been on any stabilizers since! Some days I wish for the even keel that I had before I had Cami! Now it is an emotional roller coaster and though I am no where near that place I was at 14, there are many days where I just don't want to even get out of bed! I know it would probably help me to go back on something but i enjoy nursing my child! The bond that I have with both of my girls is amazing and a lot of that is (IMHO) attributed to the fact that I nurse(d) them! And unfortunately the only mood stabilizer that is "safe" for pregnancy and nursing is Prozac and that has been tried on many different levels and just is not the right choice for me! I am at a loss of where I want to/ need to go with this! Please everyone know that I am truly OK (I have just hit this part of the deployment cycle and am trying to climb out) and I know where my point of breaking is and I will never allow myself to get there again!! I just wish there were an answer that could help with out me feeling like I am depriving my child of the healthiest thing for her! Monday Morning I will be calling to talk to my PCM about getting my referral to go back to counseling and maybe there is some new break through medication that is safe to take! If anyone has any suggestions for natural mood stabilizers please feel free to suggest! I have used St. John's Wort in the past and am not sure if it is safe while nursing or not so I haven't tried and I need to do some more research on things! Thank you all for all of the support that has been given over the past few weeks it means sooo much to me and my family!

So ok onto better things!! Addisyn is almost 6months old already and it truly seems like just yesterday I was going into surgery to give birth!!! We have started using a sippy cup (just water for now!) She loves to sit in her exersaucer and play! She still has beautiful blue eyes (I am totally jealous) and a smile that (even behind a binky) lights up my world (and anyone else who is privlidged enough to see it!) She is rolling over constantly and trying to get her knees up under her i feel she may start crawling before Cami did! though Cami was an Army crawl baby!

Cami is doing well she is getting better with the discipline issues that we had been having! Implementing a more routine focused schedule is helping quite a bit! But we still have a long way to go til she is back on the schedule she was in VA! Man I wish I could go back to that time with her! She has quickly become a speed demon on her bicycle and a daredevil as well! She has started standing and peddleing like the big kids do! She scares me and I do beleive I need to get her in some sort of sport as soon as I can so that i can encourage that constant scheduled activity! She needs it and I think she will excel at sports with how advanced she is in her motor skills!

Ernie is doing ok in MS! We are both realizing that this isn't going to be as easy as we thought it was going to be! By no means did we think it was going to be a cake walk but it hurts to be away from him knowing that it is for such an extended period of time! The most difficult thing so far has been the time change and the time constraints that we each have! With me here with 2 small children to care for I can't drop everything when he calls! And he is in training all day so he doesn't have the liberty of calling when it is convinent for me! So we pretty much are trying to figure that out! though watch as soon as we figure it out he will be coming home for his I stop LOL!!!

So in a nutshell that is our lives at this point! Keep an Eye out for this weeks I <3 faces week 11 post as I attempt to compare with some of the amazing photographers on this site in their weekly contest this week the theme is NO FLASH!! If you are interested check them out and give it a whirl!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

A great weekend

For once I really don't have much to say (though I am sure I will find more to say LOL), this weekend was pretty chill around here!

A quick update on my neighbor...

His surgery went well they were able to remove the entirety of the mass in his bladder, though it took a little longer and was a little more intricate than the doctors had anticipated! He had some small issues after and wound up having to go back in to repair some small areas that were still bleeding! but is now in full recovery mode from the surgery! They released him from the hospital today and as far as I know he is on the road to recovery but only time will tell so please no matter what your religion or beliefs please keep him and his family in your thoughts and prayers, as they are going to need many as he battles through this!!

Ernie is doing well in Mississippi! He has had some great accomplishments this past week. And even though I would love to share those with everyone but I don't think it is good for me to share them with the Internet considering the job he is going to do!! I know I say this a lot but the pride that I feel for the man I married is indescribable!! My sun, my moon and my eternity!!

Addisyn had an ultrasound this past week Tuesday on a knot that developed after she was born on the back of her head! I had taken her in for her 4month well baby and addressed it and was told that it was a lymph node. That diagnoses was not sat in my book it just seemed like the dr was giving me a quick answer to get rid of me (I HATE when a Doctor does that!!! HELLO we are mom for a reason Listen to us when we have a concern!!) Well of course I didn't take that answer and 2 days later at Cami's 3 year check up I addressed the issue with her (Cami's) PCM (Primary Care Manager for those non military types reading). He was AWESOME He totally agreed that the feel of it was wrong for it to be a lymph node and immediatly suggested taking a look with and ultrasound! Well the radiologist came in and informed me that it is not a lymph node but a Subdermal Syst that is creating a scalloped indention on the plate of her skull! So now the next step is to have an MRI done and a consult with Neuro surgery! So I will keep everyone posted on the happenings of that! though I have already been told that it is going to have to be removed. How much truth was behind that I am unsure of so we will see!

Cami is beginning to handle Ernie being gone a lot better we got the Deployment DVD from Militaryonesource and it has been a godsend!! Though the whining has yet to be curbed so I am asking for some help here any advice that can be offered I am open too!! Though she has hit another fabulous childhood Milestone and I am so proud of her!! for her 3rd birthday one of her big momy and daddy gifts was a new bike (just a little 12in) and My baby girl can now ride...


It took about an hour but she can do it with absolutely no help whatsoever and I couldn't be more proud!! She is now the youngest in our neighborhood riding without them and it took her about an hour to completely get it! Though she has already given me a mild heart attack with it LOL!! She is so advanced when it comes to stuff like this and I can't wait to tell her Doctor about this LOL!! I will post some pictures soon but I gota couple of new toys last week that I am working on getting completely figured out so bear with me and keep checking back to this post and I will get them up ASAP!!

I am the proud new owner of my first lap top!!! snf I sm committing all of my pictures and music to an external drive so it will take me a bit to figure out what I am in need of doing!

Well Addisyn is awake and hungry so I need to assist her and get some rest myself! TTFN!!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

A lot and nothing!

Well there has been a lot and nothing all at the same time going on here in paradise, one may just say a lot of nothing!!! This past week I have just been reflecting on things and wondering where life will take us next and what it will throw at us next!!

We have mad many new friends (and retained some old ones) when we returned to Hawaii and by far the ones I am closest too are going through heartache right now and I don't know how to fix it! Last Monday he was not feeling very well (urinating Blood) and so he went into the ER. They did the routine checks and then they dug deeper (thank god for those who are willing to dig deeper!!) and found a mass in his bladder! 2days and a biopsy later he has a diagnosis of bladder cancer! The youngest documented case! Well he had surgery on Tuesday and is doing ok from it but doesn't wish to have any visitors (completely understandable considering the situation)! In all honestly I know there is nothing I can do except be a shoulder and make some food and stuff but I want to do more!!! And it hurts not to be able to help them the way I want to be able to!!

Last Monday I got a very special package at the airport, our dog Rambo! The adjustment phase with Princess isn't going as well as I would like it to but it is a slow process! they can be out together for short amounts of time but then they get a little rambunctious! He was very missed in his transition from Virginia to Hawaii!!

So some exciting news! I got another award from an awesome bloggy friend!

The Tea Cup blogger award from USS Retired!!

"This award may be passed to ONLY ONE! We all have that ONE blog that we look forward to every single day whether it's updated every day or not; that ONE blog that reaches to the depths of our soul; this is the ONE deserving of the "Tea Cup Blogger" Award. So -- because your blogging warms my soul like a hot cup of tea, you are deserving of this very special honor ... "

I have quite a few blogs that I follow and it was hard to choose! But I wanted to pick someone who hasn't yet received it and has always been a great bloggy friend!! One day we will totally have to get some tea (from starbucks of course) together!!

So I will be passing this onto ...

Andrea over at My chihuahua Bites!!
So I am heading off to bed and will be back around (hopefully) tomorrow!

Monday, March 9, 2009

I <3 Faces Week 9

So I totally enjoyed last weeks contest at I <3 Faces and am very proud to say that my first time up I was able to place in the top ten for the adults contest!!! Check upcoming update posts to hear more about me raving about this blog!!!! And everyone please I am totally open to constructive criticism!!! Comment comment comment!!!
This photo was creatively cropped in the picture taking phase! My husband relaxing after a long day watching our daughter play with the kids in the neighborhood! I cleaned it up a little (with the best of my ability at this point) using photoshop 7!

This is the original! My baby girl Addisyn loves the Peanut shell sling I have and I was trying to capture her comfort in it (though she doesn't look very happy at the moment!) I took it utilizing a common method (the mirror effect LOL!!) and it turned out kinda cute! It needed some clean up and a creative cropping but I am quite happy with the after product! I just wish I knew how to make her blue eyes pop!!
The after!! My creative cropping was to highlight her beautiful face! After cleaning up the image I am quite happy with the end result she looks so fresh. The only other thing I would love to do with this picture is make her beautiful blue eyes stand out because unfortunately the pictures I take do her eyes no justice!!

Well all who want to know I will have an update coming soon I promise I have not fallen off of the blogging wagon!! I have just been kinda busy and my computer just doesn't seem to like me!!! Hopefully I will have a fabulous new one very very soon!!!

Monday, March 2, 2009

I <3 Faces

My first photography contest ever!!

This weeks theme is...Messy Faces!!

At the last minute here I have decided to add and Adult entry as well!! One of my good friends Also known as "Uncle M" to my girls did a fabulous team thing on the Marine corps Base this past weekend called a "SWAMP ROMP" He came how a HOT mess and I was happy to snap so great pictures but this one is my FAVE!!